04|26|04 I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE SO MUCH

This past Saturday, I grilled a bunch of food for my wife's family. What is it about barbeques? In a restaurant most people will just have the one hamburger, but when it's grilled outside and accompanied with potato salad, you end up eating four of them? It is days later and I am still having a hard time moving from place to place.

While I consider letting out my pants, go see the COMIC OF THE WEEK, ICON OF THE WEEK, and PICTURE OF THE WEEK.

By the way, I've had no luck so far making my dream of walkie-talkie deodorant come true.


04|19|04 HOW DID YOU FIND THIS WEBSITE?

I recently checked out the extensive reports from this website's hosting company, and have found out a lot of how people are coming to it. Of particular note was a review of the specific words people type into search engines, and who then are presented with Nerfect.com as one of the resulting links. Most of the words and phrases made sense (i.e. desktop pictures, icons, fonts, etc.), but then I saw it. I saw the word "urinates." People had found the site after searching for "urinates."

What a weird word to look for, not surprising because it is the internet after all, but it was a tad weird. After some thought, I realized I had used the word on one of the pages of Creeps, and it is probably not in the context that most people who look up "urinates" are expecting. Thus, if you have come across my humble website expecting... Well, personally, I'd rather not think about what you're looking for, I'd like to take the time to welcome you to Nerfect.com anyway.

In other news, I have wrangled up most of my spam problems, but now I realize how few actual e-mails from actual visitors I actually get. Huh, I could have probably done with one less "actual" there. Anyway, I'd like to hear from you. Especially if you like the stuff on the site.

Speaking of stuff on the site, especially non-urine-related things, here is the latest COMIC OF THE WEEK, ICON OF THE WEEK, and PICTURE OF THE WEEK. Enjoy.

P.S. There are loads of new items for sale at BrokenCherry that Mr. Walters had a hand in. There are gobs of new shirts, hats, and even bags there to check out, so do it!

P.P.S. Mr. Walters also does design work for Project: Porkchop, which you should all check out too!

P.P.P.S. I'm usually not one of these people, but I'd like to mention that my birthday is coming up next Saturday. I'm not expecting presents, but I could really go for some candy or a job.

P.P.P.P.S. I had this dream the other day that I could use an ordinary stick of deodorant like a walkie talkie. I'm not sure why I'm mentioning it. I thought it was a bit funny.


04|10|04 SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, TOAST, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, AND UPDATES

I've had yet another day trying my best to fend off the spam. It has gotten to the point that I pretty much trash all the incoming e-mail, and am considering closing the ailing mailbox once and for all. I apologize to any real, non-evil person out there who may have sent a genuine message. If you'd like to drop us a line, check this out.

I have also made the usual, weekly updates a bit earlier than usual. While Mr. Walters sorts through countless e-mails about penis enlargement and "those pictures", why don't you check out the newest COMIC OF THE WEEK, ICON OF THE WEEK, and PICTURE OF THE WEEK.


04|09|04 EGGS, SPAM, BACON, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, AND SPAM

Between the virus-initiated returned e-mails and spam, it has been a chore weeding out the real e-mails as of late. In order to deal with this problem we have changed our e-mail address, and there are no longer direct e-mail links here on the website. We also ask all you PC users out there to clean up your machines and snip those viruses in the bud.

Those keen of eye, may have also noticed that we have been tweeking things here and there. Over the past week we've been trying to clean up some of the wackier bugs and hijinks, and will continue this effort over the next couple weeks.


04|05|04 LOST TIME

There is a concept in u.f.o. abduction stories called "lost time." It is when there is an unexplained gap in your personal flow of time and events. You go out for a walk and then awake to find it is hours or days later. The idea being that the individual's memories of this missing time frame have been wiped clean or repressed. If it is truly a reality, I would imagine that it feels a bit like these days when we add or loose an hour for daylight savings time.

Yesterday, we lost an hour as we sprung ahead. One wonders what that hour may have held for us. It also takes a bit of time to adjust to. You're hungry and tired at slightly different time. I know it is just an hour's difference, but I find myself a bit off today as a result of all this.

While I try to get my act together, why don't you check out the COMIC OF THE WEEK, ICON OF THE WEEK, and PICTURE OF THE WEEK.


04|02|04 WHAT? YOU DON'T CHECK OUT NERFECT EVERYDAY.

I'm stunned... I really am. For those of you who missed yesterday's tomfoolery, check out the intro page that greeted our guests yeaterday by clicking here. As if that wasn't creepy enough, Mr. Walters attempted a second April Fools' gag. Oh Mr. Walters, you're so sad crazy.


04|01|04 APRIL FOOLS!

A radio station that play's nothing, but Eye of The Tiger? Sure, there would be commercials and inane chatter between blocks of Eye of The Tiger, but it still would rock, kind of... We'll if it were real. Have a great April Fools' Day everyone. Unscrew the lids on a few salt shakers for me.

Well, that was all in good fun, but if I can be serious for a moment. My new book, Dr. Lemon & The Real Americans has finally been released. It's a good read if I do say so myself. Go check it out!


CURRENT NEWS | NEWS ARCHIVE | PREVIOUS MONTH | NEXT MONTH